Self-Love Sunday: Stay Hydrated

 

Let me be a lesson to you my internet friends.

Stay hydrated.

I was feeling crappy today and thought it had to do with a combination of things. The cold that has gone around the house so many times that you would think it has to have evolved into some sort of intelligent being by now so that it can be charged rent. We had our, hopefully, last winter storm. The temperatures are going up and down which causes sinus pain and headaches. Allergy season is upon us. It’s been a mish-mash of reasons why I felt crappy.

Until I looked at the water jug on my desk and realized how little water I drank today.

According to the Dieticians of Canada, it is a myth that you have to drink 8 cups of water per day. We get fluids from other sources as well such as milk, soup, coffee, tea and juice. Our bodies loses water from breathing, sweating and getting rid of body wastes.

Here are some quick facts about fluids and hydration and you can visit the Dieticians of Canada web site for more information.

How Fluids Help the Body

  • controls your body temperature
  • aids digestion
  • carries nutrients around your body
  • cushions organs and joints
  • gets rid of waste
  • keeps your bowels regular

Signs and Symptoms of Mild Dehydration

  • thirst
  • dry lips and mouth
  • flushed skin
  • tiredness
  • irritability
  • headache
  • dizziness
  • fainting
  • low blood pressure
  • increase in heart rate
  • dark, strong smelling urine

Signs and Symptoms of Severe Dehydration

  • blue lips
  • blotchy skin
  • confusion
  • lack of energy
  • cold hands and feet
  • rapid breathing
  • high fever
  • unconsciousness

Tips to Stay Hydrated

  • Drink a glass of water when you wake up each morning or before you go to bed.
  • Keep a fresh glass of water by your desk or on hand where you work.
  • Carry a container of water with you throughout the day.
  • Drink a glass of water before eating your meals.
  • Make sure you have a drink with each meal such as a glass of low fat milk, soy beverage or water.
  • Don’t ignore thirst. Drink water or another healthy drink when you feel thirsty.

And fluids are not the only way to stay hydrated. Some fruits and vegetables are considered high water content foods because there is a large amount of water in proportion to their weight. The University of Kentucky created a graph that shows a list of fruits and vegetables that are high in water content. Some of the fruit and vegetables include grapefruit, strawberries, eggplants and tomatoes.

Hope you find these tips helpful because the hot and humid weather will be here soon enough and we’ll be trying to find creative ways to stay hydrated.

 

 

Self-Love Sunday: Recognizing Emotional Abuse

Most days on the self-love journey, it really is all about you. But, you do have to look at those around you and take a critical look at how they and their actions affect your health and well-being.

Originally, I was going to do a post based on this article from Elephant Journal called I Don’t Have Time to Babysit Your Dysfunctions.

But, as I read and reread the article, I realized the person doing the “talking” in the article is describing what sounded like an emotionally abusive relationship.

If what you read in the Elephant Journal article has you thinking you or someone you know may be emotionally abused, please give the person some of the following information.

**  Please remember, it can dangerous for the person in an abusive relationship to receive information on their computer or phone, a print out or a pamphlet that the abuser can find. Make sure the abused has phone numbers to hotlines that they can call when they want or need to talk to someone.

HelpingGuide.org has information about different types of abuse along with links to websites and toll-free numbers you can call and talk to someone. They also share the following as a description for emotional abuse.

The aim of emotional abuse is to chip away at your feelings of self-worth and independence. If you’re the victim of emotional abuse, you may feel that there is no way out of the relationship, or that without your abusive partner you have nothing.

Emotional abuse includes verbal abuse such as yelling, name-calling, blaming, and shaming. Isolation, intimidation, and controlling behavior also fall under emotional abuse. Additionally, abusers who use emotional or psychological abuse often throw in threats of physical violence or other repercussions if you don’t do what they want.

You may think that physical abuse is far worse than emotional abuse, since physical violence can send you to the hospital and leave you with scars. The scars of emotional abuse are very real, though, and they run deep. In fact, emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse—sometimes even more so.

Do you know some of the signs of an emotionally abusive relationship? Here are 21 signs according to PsychCentral.

  1. Humiliating or embarrassing you.
  2. Constant put-downs.
  3. Hypercriticism.
  4. Refusing to communicate.
  5. Ignoring or excluding you.
  6. Extramarital affairs.
  7. Provocative behavior with opposite sex.
  8. Use of sarcasm and unpleasant tone of voice.
  9. Unreasonable jealousy.
  10. Extreme moodiness.
  11. Mean jokes or constantly making fun of you.
  12. Saying “I love you but…”
  13. Saying things like “If you don’t _____, I will_____.”
  14. Domination and control.
  15. Withdrawal of affection.
  16. Guilt trips.
  17. Making everything your fault.
  18. Isolating you from friends and family.
  19. Using money to control.
  20. Constant calling or texting when you are not with him/her.
  21. Threatening to commit suicide if you leave.

 

There are many more resources that are available if you or someone you know may be in an abusive relationship. Bandbacktogether.com not only has much of the above information but also has information on planning and leaving an abuser, if there are children and pets and what to do after you leave.

Again, safety is imperative for those being abused. Check out this information on a computer outside the home if necessary or pass along the information verbally and be supportive of the person being abused.

 

Self Love Sundays: Setting Personal Boundaries

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Image via https://www.pinterest.com/pin/259871840976181575/

 

Setting boundaries is not easy for many of us, but is something that we all need to learn how to do.

PsychCentral has two articles that I found interesting. The first is What Are Personal Boundaries? How Do I Get Some? They list different types of boundaries (material, physical,  mental, emotional, sexual and spiritual) and give a short description of each one. They then talk about your rights (saying “no”, changing your mind about things, asking for help) and the internal boundaries you have with yourself before giving a general overview about setting boundaries.

People often say they set a boundary, but it didn’t help. There’s an art to setting boundaries. If it’s done in anger or by nagging, you won’t be heard. Boundaries are not meant to punish, but are for your well-being and protection. They’re more effective when you’re assertive, calm, firm, and courteous. If that doesn’t work, you may need to communicate consequences to encourage compliance. It’s essential, however, that you never threaten a consequence you’re not fully prepared to carry out.

It takes time, support, and relearning to be able to set effective boundaries. Self-awareness and learning to be assertive are the first steps. Setting boundaries isn’t selfish. It’s self-love – you say “yes” to yourself each time you say “no.” It builds self-esteem. But it usually takes encouragement to make yourself a priority and to persist, especially when you receive pushback.

The second article is 10 Way to Build and Preserve Better Boundaries and describes the following ways to build boundaries:

  • Name your limits
  • Tune into your feelings
  • Be direct
  • Give yourself permission
  • Practice self-awareness
  • Consider your past and present
  • Make self-care a priority
  • Seek support
  • Be assertive
  • Start small

 

For a comparison of healthy and unhealthy boundaries, please check out the list below.

 

unhealthy-boundaries-healthy

Self-Love Sunday: It’s OK To Be Grumpy Sometimes

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Image via http://www.collegetimes.com/uncategorized/33-images-that-perfectly-depict-your-bad-mood-83880

We all have those days. Maybe it’s because of a fight, a bad night’s sleep or you are not feeling well. You may not know why.

But, you’re grumpy.

And that’s OK according to Professor Joe Forgas, a University of New South Wales researcher.

Professor Forgas did a study that compared people who were in good and bad moods. He found that the grumpy people were “more attentive, careful thinking, paying greater attention to the external world”.

And while the professor may have found some positives in being negative, some days it will just be one of those days and you have to ride it out.

Have a pity party. Try some ways to break your bad mood and if they don’t work, embrace your grumpiness.

Just remember that we all have those days. Show yourself some love and don’t be too hard on yourself.

*Apologies if I’ve already shared this song on another post but it seems to fit the theme today.

 

I Don’t Want To Have A Nice Day

Greg Brown

I been up, honey, all night long,
It felt right, now it feels wrong.
I just wanna feed my misery,
The  Boston Globe and some black coffee.

[Chorus:]
I don’t wanna have a nice day,
And I wish that you wouldn’t say
That to me, not that-a-way,
I don’t wanna have a nice day.

I think that somebody unscrewed my head,
I know I look just like an unmade bed.
But y’know when I feel this way,
What it is is a-what I say. And

[Chorus]

I can remember a little restaurant, you know,
Somewhere down around Chicago.
She threw that Whopper right in my face,
And then she said, “Have a nice day.” I said,

[Chorus]

What d’ya wanna do? Umh!

I wanna weep; I wanna sleep,
I wanna get by cheap.
I wanna creep into the deep,
I wanna fall down in a heap.

I’m gonna do it right on your floor,
If you say that to me just once more.
You’ll have to roll me right out the door,
Yeah, and give me the ol’ what for.

I can remember what the people did,
Way back when I was a little kid.
They didn’t ask you to be always high,
They just said, “thank you” and “goodbye.”

[Chorus]

No no no no no nonononono…
Why don’t you have one? Take two, they’re small.
Da da da da da dadadadadada…
Why don’t you have a day like a painting of a kid with big eyes?
Why don’t you have a day like a painting of a puppy with a ribbon ’round
Its neck,
Sun goin down over the sea?
Why don’t you have a day like a painting of a kid with big eyes
Holdin’ a puppy with a ribbon ’round it’s neck’
Standin’ down by the ocean with the sun…
Nonononono, I don’t wanna…..nonononono, I don’t wanna…..nononnonono, I
Don’t wanna,
Nononononononono!

Self-Love Sunday: Fall In Love With Yourself First

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Image via http://www.37days.com/9-13-13/

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Do you love yourself? Have you ever fallen in love with yourself? Or, if being honest, have you thought about falling in love with yourself?

There is the common phrase that to love others we must love ourselves first. But, life is busy for many of us, sometimes overwhelming. And we are putting every one and every thing else first.

It’s time to put yourself first.

Leo Babauta from Zen Habits has written an article about falling in love with yourself where he shares his thoughts in three areas: What is Falling in Love, How to Start and An Ongoing Romance.

He talks in generalized examples about what happens when we fall in love,

 

  • We meet someone interesting.
  • We get to know them.
  • We appreciate the little things.
  • We start to trust.
  • We get love from them, and return it.

and he then takes you through each of the actions and talks about how to apply each one to falling in love with yourself.

Kassy Scarcia, a life and career empowerment coach, has an article on Huffington Post where she talks about 7 Ways to Fall in Love With Yourself. Her 7 tips are:

  • Make a List of 10 Things You Love About Yourself Everyday
  • Take It a Step Further and Read Your List In Front of a Mirror Each Day
  • Practice Saying No
  • Ask 5 People in Your Life What They Love About You
  • Give Yourself an Act of Self-Love Each Day
  • Make a Self-Love Vision Board
  • Declare Yourself A No Self-Judgment Zone

If you think tip #1 is too hard, refer to my post from last week about saying something positive about yourself which includes a chart of over 150 ways you can wonderfully describe yourself.

I hope these two articles give you some ideas about falling in love with yourself and that you are able to spend this Valentine’s Day how you choose.

 

Self-Love Sunday: Say Something Positive About Yourself

 

No other month celebrates (or tries to cash in on) love like February. There is Valentine’s Day, of course. But there are also a lot of stories, articles and pictures telling and showing us how to find love, to keep love, how to look and act to find love, what we are doing right.

And what we are doing wrong.

It seems to be a quirk of human nature to zero in on the wrongs and let the negative thoughts in our head try to overpower any positive thoughts.

Jasmin Tanjeloff at tinybudda.com has an article called Accepting and Loving Ourselves in 10 Simple Steps. She explains that to accept and love ourselves, we have to fill our “love tanks” with love. The more full our “love tanks” are, the more centered, loving, and grounded we feel. The emptier our tanks are, the more overwhelmed, frustrated, angry and sad we feel. The following are her suggestions for filling our “love tanks”.

  1. Validate our feelings, “It’s okay to feel bad sometimes.”
  2. Refrain from judging or placing negativity on our thoughts or feelings.
  3. Give ourselves a little extra comfort and soothing.
  4. Listen to and respect our inner experience.
  5. Reassure ourselves that what we are experiencing will pass.
  6. Remind ourselves of all the wonderful things that we are.
  7. Be grateful for the little (and big) things in our lives.
  8. Take action towards improving elements in our lives that negatively affect us.
  9. Commit to our physical health—cut back on drinking, improve eating habits, and exercise regularly.
  10. Invest in our psychological/emotional/spiritual health.

You have probably seen all of these suggestions before. Number 6 seems to be one that many people have a problem doing. If someone were to ask you right now to say something positive about yourself, could you or would you be at a loss for words?

Here’s some help. Take a look at the words in the image below for a few moments.

What positive things are you able to say about yourself now?

Self-Love

Image via http://www.positivelypresent.com/2014/02/positive-words.html