Self-Love Sunday: Say Something Positive About Yourself

 

No other month celebrates (or tries to cash in on) love like February. There is Valentine’s Day, of course. But there are also a lot of stories, articles and pictures telling and showing us how to find love, to keep love, how to look and act to find love, what we are doing right.

And what we are doing wrong.

It seems to be a quirk of human nature to zero in on the wrongs and let the negative thoughts in our head try to overpower any positive thoughts.

Jasmin Tanjeloff at tinybudda.com has an article called Accepting and Loving Ourselves in 10 Simple Steps. She explains that to accept and love ourselves, we have to fill our “love tanks” with love. The more full our “love tanks” are, the more centered, loving, and grounded we feel. The emptier our tanks are, the more overwhelmed, frustrated, angry and sad we feel. The following are her suggestions for filling our “love tanks”.

  1. Validate our feelings, “It’s okay to feel bad sometimes.”
  2. Refrain from judging or placing negativity on our thoughts or feelings.
  3. Give ourselves a little extra comfort and soothing.
  4. Listen to and respect our inner experience.
  5. Reassure ourselves that what we are experiencing will pass.
  6. Remind ourselves of all the wonderful things that we are.
  7. Be grateful for the little (and big) things in our lives.
  8. Take action towards improving elements in our lives that negatively affect us.
  9. Commit to our physical health—cut back on drinking, improve eating habits, and exercise regularly.
  10. Invest in our psychological/emotional/spiritual health.

You have probably seen all of these suggestions before. Number 6 seems to be one that many people have a problem doing. If someone were to ask you right now to say something positive about yourself, could you or would you be at a loss for words?

Here’s some help. Take a look at the words in the image below for a few moments.

What positive things are you able to say about yourself now?

Self-Love

Image via http://www.positivelypresent.com/2014/02/positive-words.html

Self-Love Sunday: Me Time

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Image via http://www.adamsmith.org/blog/tag/gender-pay-gap/

 

Oops. There was an X-Files marathon on tv last weekend before the start of the new episodes. I got very excited and distracted and didn’t do a post.

Sorry.

But, to be fair, we are talking about The X-Files.

Anyway, this is the first of a series of me time posts. Whether it’s stopping for a few minutes to have some tea or coffee, being with friends or family or setting some time aside for a hobby or binge watching a tv show, me time is a necessity.

Below is an infographic from Happify that gives a quick overview about the whys and hows of me time. I’ll be posting more suggestions throughout the year.

And, as it says in the infographic, ditch any guilt you may be feeling. Me time matters.

me time

Image via http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/21/happify-me-time-infographic_n_7385548.html

 

Self-Love Sunday: Create a Self-Care Kit

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Image via http://websta.me/p/886241381160142650_9159944

Some days just suck. That is a fact of life. And the triggers can be anything. On those days, we have to be prepared to be kind and tender with ourselves. One of the ways we can do that is to create our own self-love kit. Here are a couple of examples.

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Image via http://anxiety-depression-recovery.tumblr.com/post/83010026742/recovery-kitgrounding-boxself-help-box-thingy

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Image via http://chooserecovery.tumblr.com/alternatives

Your kit, in whatever form it takes, is done by you, for you. If you need some ideas, Core Health Partners has an article on creating a kit that can contain both physical and virtual items.

Here is a list of what they believe are five essentials for your kit. Enjoy the planning and creating of your own kit knowing it will help you one day when you need some TLC.

1) Things that inspire you – Consider quotes, pictures, videos, or songs that have special meaning for you.

2) Things that make you laugh – These might be cartoons, sayings, pictures, recordings, or videos. Have you seen something hilarious on Facebook or Youtube? Consider saving electronic links in a location where you can access them again!

3) Things that connect you with special people or memories — Think about special cards, notes, or pictures that remind you of the ways you connect or make a difference for those who are special to you. You might even compose a nice note to yourself!

4) Things that make you feel pampered — Items that appeal to your senses are especially good choices for this category. You might keep a small tin of favorite teas. Maybe you’d enjoy a candle or some aromatherapy. Some great lotion for giving yourself a quick hand massage is another possibility. You could have a recording of some soothing music or a guided relaxation or meditation exercise.

5) Things that evoke a sense of gratitude — Include items that remind you of what appreciate or count as blessings in your life. This might be pictures of people. places, or events. It could also be a list that you’ve made, or perhaps a gratitude journal that you keep.

Self-Love Sunday: 10 Commandments of Self-Love

10 commandments of self love

 

Our aging brains, bless them, hold more information than what we think they do. They do their own version of “copy and save” but our “retrieval” isn’t always working at its best. Information overload, lack of sleep, lack of coffee… different events, stresses and life in general sometimes keep us from remembering things that, when we remember, we acknowledge with an “of course that’s how it should be “.

We’ve heard all of these commandments before along with many others. Some days they are easy to remember and believe. Other days, it’s like they never existed and it’s a struggle to love ourselves. We make mistakes, we doubt ourselves, we let the inner critic win or listen to others too much who criticize us.

We may even joke about these commandments, affirmations and uplifting quotes or roll our eyes at them.

At times, it’s not always easy to love ourselves or to put ourselves first.

And then one day, we read some self-love commandments, understand how powerful words can be and they help us remember how very much we are worth it.

 

Self Love Sunday

self-love  (noun):

regard for one’s own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic).

This year I’m going to do something a little different on Sundays. Instead of quotes, Sundays will be about different ways we can love ourselves.

We are too hard on ourselves sometimes (or a lot of the time) so Sundays will be a reminder to give ourselves some love. So, grab a cup or glass of your preferred beverage and lets jump right in.

It’s the new year and we’ve maybe made some New Year’s resolutions, we’re trying to get back to some normalcy after the holidays and perhaps needing to decompress and relieve some of the stress from the holidays.

Because self-love is not meant to be tortuous or regimented, let’s start with something gentle: deep breathing. The following instructions for deep breathing is from an article by Harvard Medical School.

First steps. Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit or lie down. First, take a normal breath. Then try a deep breath: Breathe in slowly through your nose, allowing your chest and lower belly to rise as you fill your lungs. Let your abdomen expand fully. Now breathe out slowly through your mouth (or your nose, if that feels more natural).

Breath focus in practice. Once you’ve taken the steps above, you can move on to regular practice of breath focus. As you sit comfortably with your eyes closed, blend deep breathing with helpful imagery and perhaps a focus word or phrase that helps you relax.

And although we’ve heard many times about the benefits of deep breathing, it is great to be reminded. Here’s a few of the benefits from an article by One Powerful Word and I hope that each Sunday shows you ways to help you love yourself more because we are all deserving of self-love.
  • Breathing Releases Tension
  • Breathing Improves Posture
  • Proper Breathing makes the Heart Stronger
  • Breathing Elevates Moods

 

Happy New Year

In this new year, may you have a deep understanding of your true value and worth,

an absolute faith in your unlimited potential,

peace of mind in the midst of uncertainty,

the confidence to let go when you need to,

acceptance to replace your resistance,

gratitude to open your heart,

the strength to meet your challenges,

great love to replace your fear,

forgiveness and compassion for those who offend you,

clear sight to see your best and true path,

hope to dispel obscurity,

the conviction to make your dreams come true,

meaningful and rewarding synchronicities,

dear friends who truly know and love you,

a childlike trust in the benevolence of the universe,

the humility to remain teachable,

the wisdom to fully embrace your life exactly as it is,

the understanding that every soul has its own course to follow,

the discernment to recognize your own unique inner voice of truth,

and the courage to learn to be still. 

Janet Rebhan