After all these years, I’m still not sure how I feel about being a person with a disability. I know that once I got on disability, in ways, a whole new world opened up for me. I had more options precisely because I am now labeled disabled and not just a person with something wrong with her .
I still have days when the anger and frustration at not being healthy get the better of me. One day I’m healthy, feeling fine and going about my life. And then the switch is turned to “Throw into land of disability. Good luck with that”. The range of emotions that take over is endless and always changing.
So, in a totally selfish and very deserving way, I’m going to start “talking” about the different emotions I’ve been feeling over the years and some different ways I’ve been dealing with everything. Some are bad, as you would expect. Some have been powerful and helped me out during some dark times. Some days are bright sunshine with nary a speed bump while other days are full of chaos, both mentally and physically.
I’ll probably have some really short posts at the beginning until I get used to writing about my feelings and actions. I’m not sure how much I want to write in a public blog. I’ll find out when I start, so this could get really interesting for me.
Because there comes a day where you need to acknowledge what you are feeling, what you are doing, are you learning anything and can you do it better.
And that time is now.