OK, I Know It Kind Of Looks Like I Knitted A Condom

To be more precise, it looks like a knitted condom on top of my bottle of astringent. It is actually a hat for a baby but I have no baby or baby-shaped item so that my masterpiece could be modeled in all its glory.

This is what I did this weekend and I am so proud! As proud as anyone could be who knitted a hat that looks like a condom. I recently purchased a loom knitting kit and some yarn so I could amuse myself and learn something new this winter. I tried using knitting needles decades ago but didn’t have the patience for it. That might have had something to do with my mother from whom I received the lack-of-patience gene and the only person who tried to teach me how to knit.

It didn’t turn out well.

A couple of months ago while I was looking for something to do, I happened upon loom knitting and checked it out on YouTube. I found some videos, it looked really easy and I bought a loom set and a book. Look at all the pretty colours.

This blurry picture is the yarn I bought. It’s from the Deborah Norville Collection. I don’t know much about yarn and the reason I bought this is because the package had 3 bunches of yarn and I really liked the red colour. The label calls it “Really Red”. Bonus: it’s anti-pilling! That and it’s from Deborah Norville who I last remember seeing on the Today Show. Deborah Norville is into knitting! Who knew?

Now, it’s time to knit. I’d show you the book I bought but… I never used it. I also never used the instructions that came with the loom set. What I did was go running back to the internet and I used the video by mikeyssmail that convinced me to give this a try.

I found it didn’t take long to get into a rhythm. Reviews and other videos I looked at said it only takes about 45 minutes to an hour to do a small hat. It took me just a little over an hour and that included looking at the video to get me started. My ears have been bothering me all week so it also made me really happy when I tried doing this lying down and found that I could still do a simple project such as this.

Here’s the hat just before I take it off the loom.

This picture shows the loom upside down so you can see how the wool looks as things are progressing. As you knit, the project gets tighter.

By-the-by, that beautiful, white background is my new pillow. It has some kind of material that absorbs heat so that I can feel cool. The shipping weight is 4.2 pounds so it is heavier than regular pillows but it is comfortable, feels cool to sleep on and my head doesn’t feel warm. It’s $39.98 from Amazon.com. Apparently, I’m getting it at 50% off the list price but so far so good. I may get another one, even at that price. Heat, humidity and hot flashes be damned!

Well, this is the finished project. I didn’t follow any pattern or number of rows. I just kept going until I wanted to learn how to cast off and finish the hat. Not bad for a first try.

That sure is one happy, sleeping baby! Well, it’s the closest I can get to a sleeping baby.

And that’s how I taught myself to knit a baby hat that looks like a condom.


22 Replies to “OK, I Know It Kind Of Looks Like I Knitted A Condom”

  1. I’m impressed! I can’t knit anything except scarfs. I even tried this “no fail” pattern for a sweater that turned out like something from the Addams family!
    The loom looks interesting, and hey, your baby hat will be the talk of the town!
    I was wondering about those pillows that keep you cool. Apparently there are sheet sets that do the same thing, but I think they are pretty expensive. Lately, I haven’t been having as bad of night sweats, but I often sleep with less than all the covers just in case.


    1. I haven’t been having the hot flashes or feeling overheated for a while now (knock wood) like I used to. But, the first night I used it, I had a great sleep. It was when my sleep was really wonky last week. My body, at least, has gone back to insisting that it want’s to stay up until 2 or 3 am. Then I wake up usually after 10 or I sleep for a couple of hours during the afternoon and feel like I’ve lost half the day.

      I’ll have to check out the sheets. I think part of why I would feel so hot is that when my ear bothers me, my adrenaline goes a bit faster and I get warmer. Throw in peri-menopause and it’s a wonderful combination.


      1. Having gone through menopause twice (long story), you have my sympathies on the symptoms like hot flashes, etc.
        i’ve also seen herbal products for the hot flahses . Some are soya based, other use red clover. When I tried a red clover product recently when my inner thermostat was really out of whack, it did seem to help.
        I also know the feeling of losing part of the day; some days I just stay in bed, sleeping on and off.


        1. I’ve been lucky, because it never felt bad enough for me to try herbs. And dealing with the unknown illness for all those years never helped but the stress was certainly part of the problem. At my worst, I would take a cold pack out of the freezer and put it at the back of my neck and that would do the trick.

          Oh, the memories.


    1. That’s what I liked about doing the hat. After I did the first couple of rows, I found I could stop at any point and not lose any stitches. Big points for me because my attention span is getting shorter and shorter. I hope it’s the same for some of the other projects I’ll try.


  2. OK….now don’t be too surprised…but I have a knitting loom. Yes, really. I only have one…it’s not round it’s rectangular one. I was cutting up plastic grocery bags and lopping them together in a long string, then using my knitting loom…and making these cook bags! But then everyone stopped using the plastic bags. I ran out, and have a half fininshed bag, and have no idea where I stopped or how to stop it.
    Yes, funny, I should send you photos.
    Have fun! I need a new hat! (hint)


    1. I have to get some more knitting picks. Unless I find mine. But that won’t be for a bit because I started cleaning dust bunnies and looking for it at the same time. Moving around, stormy weather system and dust bunnies had me falling over last night after10 minutes. I have a ring of allen keys and tried using the smallest one. It worked but it didn’t feel great in my hand. It needs a handle.

      A hat? What kind of hat? The only wool I have is the one in the picture.


      1. Oh… but my problem is that I’m allergic to wool. It’s that the pits! My coat is a grape color…yes grape. Of course. I can’t get my big fat ass in it right now…I think that’s why the fates made this winter so mild! : ) Yes, just because I do not have a good winter coat that fits. hehehe

        ummm, I have those hooks…but I seem to be thinking that crochet hooks worked well too….but it’s been a while and my brain is mush.
        I will have to send you a photo of my plastic bag! it’s really quite cool. I to have to put a handle on it.
        (so I’ve already gotten happy, mad, cried, and sad today….how’s your day?)


        1. I haven’t done much today so not as dizzy and off-balance, though a bit nauseous today. Stayed in bed , stayed off the computer for most of the day and tried to relax.

          Purple is a wonderful colour. I think I mentioned I went on a purple buying spree with clothes last year. My winter coat and rain coat are both purple. Since it’s the colour of royalty, I guess we can be queens of our own domain.

          I tried my crochet hook. Doesn’t work well, the hook part is too short.

          And I read the label. It’s 100% acrylic and can be put in the washer and dryer. Again, only have the one colour but since I’ll have to by those picks, I may have to try different colours. Actually, I want to try scarves in different types of yarn. There’s some fun stuff that wasn’t out there when my mom knitted.


  3. I don’t knit, but there is a Yarn Store in my little historic downtown area. A Yarn Store! Seriously, all they sell is yarn! Well, you can get the needles/crochet hooks too, but that’s it! It’s such a cute store it makes me want to need yarn.


    1. we have a yarn store right next to Whole Foods..and they always have the most beautiful things in the windows. I’ll go in and break out in a rash. Yes, most of the yarn is wool. of course. good wool. sigh.

      even when I try to knit or crochet, it comes out all twisty because I can’t keep “even tension” umph. no, sometimes I’m relaxed, other days I’m not…do all people who do yarn work have the exact same amount of “tension” all the time. How strange.
      But my mother was very good at it, but she hid her feelings well.
      I’m not that type of person…..NO Definitely Not.. : P


      1. Oh, crap! Last night I checked the website of the yarn store by my place and the building they are in was sold, the lease terminated and they are moving out of town. So, of course it’s closing, now that I’m getting into knitting. That might be a good thing. I probably would have used it as an excuse to go for a walk and then buy something when I was there.

        *sniff* And they had bunnies in the store, too.

        I’m doing ok with the tension so far. My mom had a friend that could knit and watch tv at the same time. I don’t know how she was able to do that.


        1. maybe your mom’s friend was my mom. yeah she could do that. but she preferred to crochet. You know, you had to put one needle down to pick up a cigarette and might drop a stitch if you were knitting.
          ….oh how bitter. I loved my mother more than any other person in the world, but she died of lung cancer and cigs ruled her world.

          Sometimes I do wonder if some of what I have has been caused by all the second hand and invetro smoke. I know they didn’t know then, I have no malaise.,.just curious.

          I’m sorry about your knitting store, but if you are like me….I have a lot of yarn, and have never finished anything….well one little scarf, I decided I liked that it twisted.


          1. Oh, she could smoke, knit, drink tea, watch tv…if speaker phones had been invented at the time, I’m sure she would have been talking at the same time.

            The first time I applied for disability I talked about not knowing what caused my illness. It’s scary stuff because it’s the unknown factors that can affect you and haunt you. And unless you get a specific diagnosis, you may never know how or when it happened.


            1. and often when you do get a diagnosis….you just don’t know..where the heck did this come from.

              The last 3 days I’ve used my inhaler more than I have in over a year. Every time I smell something strong, or eat something, I start coughing and can’t breathe….I wonder….
              I loved my mother so, I’d hate to think her actions did some of this to me. So i choose not to….life just circles around right? well not with this side of the generation…but you know. : )

              all because of a condom cozy….wow what a conversation.


              1. I read that last sentence and giggled out loud.

                Is it possible that one of the pills is causing you to cough or a combination of some of the pills? One of the guys started a pill, for blood pressure (I think) and it gave him a dry, hacking cough. He had to change meds. I know that changing pills may not be an option, but it could be something to consider if you’re doing a new combination of pills.

                With our parents generation, there was so many things that were acceptable like smoking and drinking. But, they were also told to trust authority figures because “they” knew what they were doing, what was best for us, etc. I’m thankful that there are people in each generation that are willing to speak out.


  4. Oh, I just figure out how to market them…
    For those who don’t want shrinkage when putting on a cold condom…we have just the thing! The condom cozy, it’ll keep your condom nice and warm until ready for use!

    Condom Cozy…on sale at your local drug store now!!


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