helpingguide.org

Self-Love Sunday: Recognizing Emotional Abuse

Most days on the self-love journey, it really is all about you. But, you do have to look at those around you and take a critical look at how they and their actions affect your health and well-being.

Originally, I was going to do a post based on this article from Elephant Journal called I Don’t Have Time to Babysit Your Dysfunctions.

But, as I read and reread the article, I realized the person doing the “talking” in the article is describing what sounded like an emotionally abusive relationship.

If what you read in the Elephant Journal article has you thinking you or someone you know may be emotionally abused, please give the person some of the following information.

**  Please remember, it can dangerous for the person in an abusive relationship to receive information on their computer or phone, a print out or a pamphlet that the abuser can find. Make sure the abused has phone numbers to hotlines that they can call when they want or need to talk to someone.

HelpingGuide.org has information about different types of abuse along with links to websites and toll-free numbers you can call and talk to someone. They also share the following as a description for emotional abuse.

The aim of emotional abuse is to chip away at your feelings of self-worth and independence. If you’re the victim of emotional abuse, you may feel that there is no way out of the relationship, or that without your abusive partner you have nothing.

Emotional abuse includes verbal abuse such as yelling, name-calling, blaming, and shaming. Isolation, intimidation, and controlling behavior also fall under emotional abuse. Additionally, abusers who use emotional or psychological abuse often throw in threats of physical violence or other repercussions if you don’t do what they want.

You may think that physical abuse is far worse than emotional abuse, since physical violence can send you to the hospital and leave you with scars. The scars of emotional abuse are very real, though, and they run deep. In fact, emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse—sometimes even more so.

Do you know some of the signs of an emotionally abusive relationship? Here are 21 signs according to PsychCentral.

  1. Humiliating or embarrassing you.
  2. Constant put-downs.
  3. Hypercriticism.
  4. Refusing to communicate.
  5. Ignoring or excluding you.
  6. Extramarital affairs.
  7. Provocative behavior with opposite sex.
  8. Use of sarcasm and unpleasant tone of voice.
  9. Unreasonable jealousy.
  10. Extreme moodiness.
  11. Mean jokes or constantly making fun of you.
  12. Saying “I love you but…”
  13. Saying things like “If you don’t _____, I will_____.”
  14. Domination and control.
  15. Withdrawal of affection.
  16. Guilt trips.
  17. Making everything your fault.
  18. Isolating you from friends and family.
  19. Using money to control.
  20. Constant calling or texting when you are not with him/her.
  21. Threatening to commit suicide if you leave.

 

There are many more resources that are available if you or someone you know may be in an abusive relationship. Bandbacktogether.com not only has much of the above information but also has information on planning and leaving an abuser, if there are children and pets and what to do after you leave.

Again, safety is imperative for those being abused. Check out this information on a computer outside the home if necessary or pass along the information verbally and be supportive of the person being abused.

 

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